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一旦12月到了,就好像聖誕節臨近一樣。商店整夜更換裝飾品,每個廣播電台播放節日歌曲,每個人似乎都在談論節日計劃。假期給每個人帶來了各種各樣的情感-有時壓倒性的快樂,有時壓力很大。但是對於那些像我這樣失去親人的人來說,假期會給他們帶來一定程度的困難。<br />我的母親被診斷出患有乳腺癌時,我只有10周大。我所知道的就是我媽媽得了癌症的世界。我小時候對她的記憶不多,但我知道癌症永遠不會阻止我媽媽和我以及我的兩個姐姐同在。我們會花數小時在房子裡跳舞,唱歌給Shania Twain的“男人,我感覺像個女人”,或者一起玩紙牌。即使我的家人盡了最大的努力使這一切正常化,但我知道我這個年齡的其他孩子並沒有在醫院的病房裡度過週末或看著媽媽在一天結束時摘下假髮。<br />那天晚上,也就是聖誕節前夕的那天,我5歲那年的一個晚上,爸爸說我的姐妹們和我可以在表姐的家裡睡覺。我非常激動,於是我迅速對媽媽說再見,然後跑出家門。第二天早上,我的姨媽告訴我們起床,不要擔心換下睡衣,而只是為了上車,所以我們可以回到我家。我不記得是誰告訴我的或他們說了什麼,但在2000年聖誕節前夕的早晨,我媽媽輸掉了與乳腺癌的抗爭。這就是我的記憶。我不記得那年聖誕節怎麼樣,或者我們是否打開了聖誕老人給我們的禮物。我只是記得看到她躺在床上,知道那是我最後一次見到她。<br />相關:8本書幫助您應對親人的死亡<br />從那時起,假期一直是一個挑戰。與其他所有人一樣,存在著一種使自己感到快樂的壓力,因此您不應該放低度假精神。感到悲傷幾乎是自私的。有時候,我會完全度過假期–準備參加聚會或看聖誕節電影。還有其他日子,我不得不跳過那些事情,只是為了讓自己感到悲傷。<br />我發現假期期間對我最有幫助的是,知道有些日子會與其他日子有所不同。當我真正感到母親的死亡之重時,我最大的挑戰就是與周圍的人交流我所需要的東西,並找到最好的方式來紀念和記住她。<br />我了解如何度過悲傷每個假期都會因失去親人而有所不同。有些比其他人更難,所以請調整您的感覺以引導您朝著需要的方向發展。如果您在假期中要處理悲傷,請記住以下幾點。<br />練習自我護理我堅信這對我們的心理健康最重要。具有諷刺意味的是,通常這也是走出窗戶的第一件事。專注於其他事情而不是我們自己很容易。有時,自我保健只是意味著屏住呼吸,與自己呆在一起,或者做一些使您感到鎮定和放鬆的事情。在假期裡,我真的很努力地聽自己說。如果我不具備“度假精神”,那就可以了。 [https://www.cloudflare.com/5xx-error-landing/ 好Man] 。<br /><br /><br />保持親人的禮物存在這可能是最具挑戰性的。留下您所愛的禮物可能會帶來很多悲傷,沮喪,困惑和憤怒。在這裡做出選擇,例如是否保留您所愛的人過世之前的傳統可能會造成混淆。在沒有這些傳統的情況下進行這些傳統可能會感到錯誤或空虛。對於某些人而言,保留這些傳統會帶來一種令人放鬆的懷舊。但是對於那些過去想要放棄這些傳統的人來說,值得尋找體現您所愛之人精神的新傳統。我知道媽媽會希望我做些能給我帶來最大安慰的事情。有時候,這就像看她的照片或寫下我能記住的任何故事一樣簡單。這可能意味著要做一些您知道他們曾經喜歡做的事情。<br />為您過上我的生活我傾向於以一種我認為會讓她感到驕傲的方式來生活。如果我過得特別開心,我有時甚至會感到內,尤其是在假期裡,因為感覺好像我暫時忘記了媽媽。 “當她不在時,我現在怎麼能這麼開心?”我想。我很幸運能收到媽媽去世之前寫的信。在一封特別的信中,她要求我不要感到內,因為我有生命,而她沒有。這些話確實幫助我改變了看法。不在每時每刻都在想著我的媽媽,或者每時每刻都不會感到失落,這並不會使我成為一個壞女兒,這使她成為了一位了不起的母親,因為她給了我力量,讓我仍然充滿歡樂和歡笑地過著我的生活。<br />相關:真正了解您的最佳心理健康播客<br />如何為親人解決悲傷問題儘管我的悲傷經歷是我自己的經歷,但我知道它會影響我一生中的其他人。有時候,我會因為與朋友交往而感到沮喪,因為他們在一年中的這個時候沒有檢查我。<br />作為朋友,知道該說些什麼或如何幫助一個悲傷的人可能是具有挑戰性的。如果您是失去親人的朋友,那麼在假期中有一些事情要記住。<br />檢查您的安靜朋友我是一個相對內向的人,所以我花很多時間在小組中觀察和傾聽而不是說話。特別是在假期期間,我會安靜一些。容易想到安靜的朋友還可以,因為他們的行為幾乎保持不變。有時他們不是。僅僅知道一個朋友在想著我並檢查我,這會讓我在假期中的孤獨感降低100倍。<br />詢問朋友的需求這並非總是最容易做到的,因為討論死亡可能會感到不舒服。但是,您在所有關係中交流的次數越多,它們就越真實。詢問您的朋友是否想談論此事,或者告訴您他們對失去的人有很好的記憶。如果他們不願意,那沒關係,但是給他們一個討論損失的平台很重要。<br />要有耐心如果您的朋友在假期中遇到悲傷,他們可能沒有像平常一樣的情感能力陪伴您。他們可能變得更遙遠或脾氣更短。儘管這可能令人沮喪,但請記住這不是因為您。如果他們的行為令您不高興,請嘗試與他們討論,但讓他們知道您正在嘗試了解他們的來歷。<br />您不必與朋友的損失有關我永遠不會忘記一年,當我在假期與朋友交談時,我如何在那一年特別掙扎,而媽媽卻不在身邊。他們的反應是告訴我他們了解,因為當他們的狗去世時,他們有這種感覺。我因為試圖比較兩者而對我的朋友感到沮喪。我知道我的朋友正在嘗試建立聯繫,以便讓我感到不那麼孤單,並告訴我這會沒事的,但是有時候在處理損失時,您只需要一個可以傾聽的朋友即可。<br /><br />重要提示:本文中表達的觀點和見解僅為作者的觀點,而不是Everyday Health。<br />查看更多<br />
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Matravers School cookery competition - White Horse News





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Posted: Tue, 07 Nov 2017 08:00:00 GMT [ source ]






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